I know...

9/21/2015


I know you won't remember how I felt the day I found out I was expecting you and that God had answered all my prayers. 

I know you won't remember how I longed to feel your kicks, or how I drank an extra sugary drink just to make sure you were "okay." 

I know you won't remember how I grew giant cankles just for you. 

I know you won't remember how I spent three excruciating days in labor but the second I held you I forgot every second of pain. 

I know you won't remember how I felt my heart leave my body when they rushed you to the NICU. 

I know you won't remember how hard I cried when the Cincinnati Children's specialist said those five words, "he's going to be okay." 

I know you won't remember how scared I was when your dad and I brought you home. 

I know you won't remember how desperately I wanted my milk to be enough for you.

I know you won't remember how many tears I cried when I thought I was failing at mommy life.

I know you won't remember how my heart melted into a puddle the first time you smiled at me. 

I know you won't remember how many hours I laid with you on my chest because I never wanted to lay you down. 

I know you won't remember how much I loved watching every single milestone unfold before my eyes.

I know you won't remember how much you changed the core of who I am. 

I know you won't remember how much I needed you just as much as you needed me.

I know you won't remember how much I love to just be your mom.

I know you won't remember all of these things but I hope and pray that my feelings come to life and you feel my love for you every single day. 

9 comments :

  1. You are MADE to be a mommy, Lauren! I love this. He is a lucky boy.

    ReplyDelete

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