You'll Forever Be In My Heart...

9/17/2012

Well, today is Monday, so let me begin...

Tuesday, September 4th was one of the hardest days of my life. We all saw it coming, we all knew the end was near but that didn't make things any easier. For months you asked us to pray for your death, for us to pray for you to be welcomed home by the ones that you loved. I tried to honor your request but I'm going to be honest when I say I couldn't do it. I couldn't bring myself to say those words. As selfish as that was, I didn't want to see you go. I prayed for you to be out of pain and for your suffering to end and for God to grant us a miracle and bring you back one more time.

For eight years you fought a long, hard, agonizing and painful battle. You showed us all what it was like to really stay strong. You never let cancer have the upper hand, not even once. You didn't let that awful disease take things away, or define who you were as a person. You lived day to day like you weren't even sick.

As the end drew near, it was harder to watch and harder to see you slip away. Who was going to be there for me when I needed help with one of  your famous recipes? Who was going to hold and rub my hand and give me that sense of peace that everything would be okay? You couldn't wait to see me get married, we both were counting down the days. Seeing your face when I came down that isle will always be something I cherish. I will forever be grateful for that day and those memories I got to share with you.

You were the best Gramma to me and I know you'll forever be in my heart guiding me in the right direction. I know time and God will heal the deep pain and missing piece in my heart.

But for now, I have peace knowing that you're in heaven completely pain free and knowing that YOU won the fight.

Until that day comes when I can see you again, I'll be living out my days by your example. I can only hope and pray that I'm half the person and Gramma you were to me.

I love you and miss you every single day.

19 comments :

  1. Made me tear up. It is so hard to lose someone you love so much even if you know they are ready. Im so sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is beautiful. Simply beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  3. So beautiful. Especially writing that SHE won the fight. She might be in heaven now, but she didn't let the cancer ruin her last years on earth and I can't imagine how proud that must make you. <3

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is beautiful. She did indeed win the fight. My grandma couldn't wait to see my go down the isle (I was the first grandkid to get married). She passed 3 weeks later. It is something we will always share.

    ReplyDelete
  5. So sorry for your loss. Prayers are with you, your family, and her. What a wonderful tribute to her!

    ReplyDelete
  6. What a beautifully written post. "Think of them not as stars, but rather as openings from Heaven where our loved ones can peek down and let us know that everything is going to be OK."

    xo

    ReplyDelete
  7. This completely made me tear me. I am so so sorry your loss sweet girl. But at least god has a pretty amazing angel with him now. & she gets to look over you every single day & know your doing well.

    ReplyDelete
  8. oh man, this was hard to read. I am very close with my grandmother as well, in fact she raised me from when I was a few weeks old until I graduated high school. I am so so sorry you're dealing with this pain, and my thoughts and prayers are with you and that you find peace in this difficult time.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm so sorry for your loss. It's so hard, even when someone is suffering, to be able to pray for them to pass. You want them to be better, but still with you - that's completely understandable. It's easier once they have crossed over, to be grateful that they are no longer suffering, and they have gone home. It's never easy to know that you won't be able to see and talk to them in this life, but knowing they are are peace can ease our soul until we meet them again in Heaven. My thoughts are with you and your family. *hugs*

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm so sorry for your loss. My Gramma has been asking me to do the same for the past 4 years. It is hard and I too pray for her to be painfree, but stay with us.
    I will keep you and your family in my prayers. I'm glad she saw you walk down the aisle!
    P.S. Great spelling of Gramma! I'm a fan of the two "mm"s :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Lauren, this is such a sweet post for your grandma. You've got me in tears over here, little lady! She was such a wonderful, beautiful and strong woman, and she's so happy now in heaven!! :) hugs to you, girl!
    xo

    ReplyDelete
  12. Sorry about your loss. xoxoxox

    ReplyDelete
  13. So sorry to hear of your loss, Lauren. Praying for some peace for you and your family!

    ReplyDelete
  14. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Sending good vibes your way!

    ReplyDelete
  15. I am so sorry for your loss. My condolences to you and your family. : (

    ReplyDelete
  16. Such a sweet post you wrote. So sorry to hear this. Thinking of you!

    ReplyDelete

Copyright Wifestyles Blog & Photography. Blog Design by Pish and Posh Designs